I know I wouldn’t be the only one who feels like they’re going through a midlife crisis even though I’m only at 19..I mean it’s safe to assume I might even have a fair few midlife crisises from now until I’m old old..but yeah regardless it’s not a really pleasant feeling and it makes you feel so knocked off your feet. ^^”

I think I’ve just been realising lately how important it is to plan things in life. I mean it’s always been obvious that it’s a bit silly to be spontaneous and go head first into specific things but I mean just like an overall get-your-shit-together is in order.
I want to start planning my outfits to wear, do more after shower body care (really getting into moisturising all my skin lately since it’s winter), exercise routine, actually have recipes and ingredients for the recipes to make decent delicious meals at home, make time for everything (since I have SO many things I need to do but never begin/don’t know where to start for ages), organise better with friends so I actually see them on a regular basis instead of dropping off the side of the planet for 3 weeks, daily routines and last but not least actually consistently putting effort into building skill on things I want to learn! 

IT ALL SOUNDS LIKE SO MUCH! And I guess it is. It’s my whole life and it’s so out of whack lately and I can’t stand for it any more.
I realise that once I’m living out of home I would be running around doing my thing like nobodies business, but I’m impatient and I’m trying to do the little steps into independent life and having full control of myself and there is no way I’m going to have full control until I organize and plan this shit out so I can follow the lead of the plan and not be a clueless braincell hopping about and actually DO THIS!
Okay so this was definitely a bit of a ramble on…but yes! Balance must be met. I just hate the process of changing things in life! The initial steps are always so hard. It always feels like such a big leap, and then you realise how stupid and how much you were overreacting about it all. I need to stop thinking to myself that I need someone else to push me. Because I know that someone needs to be myself!


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